The Daily Bork

July 06, 2005

Political posturing can’t hide the poo on Rod’s breath

More blithering baloney from the suspendered Green one...

Political posturing can’t hide the uranium on Brash’s breath

Don Brash has uranium on his breath and no amount of political posturing can hide it, says Green Co-Leader Rod Donald.

"Uranium on the breath" being a tired reference to the 80s when then PM Lange used the phrase rather cleverly in an Oxford debate, back when the nuclear debate was a nice political football to prop up the Labour government at the expense of a pretty sweet deal NZ had going with the US.

The National Party Leader said this morning that if he became Prime Minister he would have to consult the United States before deciding whether to revoke New Zealand’s nuclear-free status, while at the same time backing away from his previous commitment to let Kiwis decide this fundamental issue through a referendum.

Ooooohhhhhh scary. He will have to consult with the US. What a fricking surprise. You mean in considering revoking a stupid ban on *US* ships he might not consider asking the US what they think of the idea and what he might get in return? Heaven forbid Don should be all unilateral in foreign affairs.

“Dr Brash needs to understand that our nuclear-free status is an integral part of our sense of nationhood.

That is a patent load of dogs testicles. When I consider my nationhood, it never even enters my mind that I haven't seen a nuclear powered naval vessel in Wellington harbour lately.

“Our reputation around the world as a reasonable, peace-loving people and as a clean and green, ‘100% Pure’ country is largely built on being nuclear-free. It is who we are; it allows us to hold our heads up high internationally.

Watch out, here comes the second delivery of reproductive parts. I have never in my life, while travelling or living overseas met anyone who has even mentioned "nuclear free" in relation to NZ. Lord of the Rings, sheep, kiwifruit, Maori, Once Were Warriors yes yes yes. Nuclear free, no. For god's sake, every foreigner thinks NZ is a tropical paradise and are surprised when they freeze their tits off if they arrive during Autumn/Winter/Spring. No one thinks we are peace loving either. Get off your ego trip and, um, talk to someone who isn't a Green zealot when you are overseas sometime.

“Where was Don when Norm Kirk sent a frigate to Mururoa, when David Lange won the Oxford Union Debate and when the Rainbow Warrior was sunk? Can he not understand that these experiences have helped to define us as a proud and independent nation?

Ah yes. Because if you opposed *French* nuclear tests in the Pacific and *French* sabotage in NZ harbours, you must be a Green dimbulb who thinks being proud and independent means being a petulant whiny little bitch towards the *Americans* who have done, exactly what again?

“It is time Dr Brash joined the mainstream, instead of trying to turn New Zealand into the 52nd state of America. Kiwis do not want to surrender our identity and foreign policy to Washington, or become a lapdog to the 51st state deputy sheriff, Australia,” Mr Donald says.

"Mainstream" being a snarky reference to a Don Brash speech. Probably went down a treat when they were passing the doobie round at the PR session. Obviously revoking the ban would immediately mean the election of a Republican PM in NZ, oops, we don't have a Republican party. They must have been into the really good shit when they wrote this one, insulting the Australians as well. No wonder we can hold our heads so high when we are busy shitting all over historic friends and most dependable allies, all for a worthless ego-building ban.


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