The Daily Bork

July 04, 2005

It's still all about me

Here we go again...

Rock stars put on historic show to fight poverty

"Mahatma Gandhi freed a continent, Martin Luther King freed a people, Nelson Mandela freed a country. It does work. They will listen," Geldof said in London's Hyde Park.


St Bob, the modern MLK. I think not. The real equivalents would be those chaps in Africa putting their lives on the line trying to free themselves from tinpot dictators. Not some washed up hippy rolling out his cult of personality every decade to appease the "guilt" of Generation-Me.

Bono fired up 200,000 fans in Hyde Park by joining Paul McCartney to launch the show with Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. The Beatles classic offered an echo of Live Aid with its first line "It was 20 years ago today".


Anyone done a cost-benefit analysis of that effort? "Huge failure but made us feel good for a few years" doesn't really cut it.

Hollywood actor Brad Pitt told the crowd: "Let us be outraged, let us be loud, let us be bold."


Oh for fuck's sake! How about stumping up a few mill yourself then??? Or is it just easier to be outraged and bold?

Tokyo kicked off Live 8 with Icelandic star Bjork headlining at a 10,000-capacity venue.

The diminutive star expressed the sense of helplessness she felt in the face of Africa's extreme poverty.

"I look at the news, I see people starving, I am crying. I'm a total mess," she said.


In other words "me me me me me!!!!"

Live 8 was also staged in the Circus Maximus in Rome and before a crowd of 150,000 in Berlin where most Germans felt it was a good idea even if they had doubts about its impact.


In other words "we know it isn't going to work but it makes us feel better for some reason."

"Me me me me me me!!!!!"

Rinse.
Repeat.

In Philadelphia, actor Will Smith told a huge crowd: "This is the biggest ... event that has ever taken place on this planet."


Apart from perhaps, the collapse of the USSR, D-Day, Lincoln freeing the slaves, The French revolution, The American revolution, the birth of Jesus, the Trinity tests...

Oh yeah, a bunch of self-congratulating rich "stars" slapping each other on the back demanding governments use someone elses tax money (cos they sure as hell aren't paying it) to "end poverty" is right up there with all those history defining moments that actually changed the world.

In Johannesburg, most of those interviewed among the crowd of 10,000 had never even heard of Geldof, but Edward Romoki, yelling over a booming hip-hop act, said: "Maybe a concert like this can put Africa in the news and change things."


Put Africa in the news... Rwanda, Somalia, Ivory Coast, Zimbabwe, Ethiopia,...

Don't see those in the news much. Well, maybe not on MTV news which is apparently all these chuckleheads watch. For God's sake, they LIVE IN AFRICA!

This is too much the "Die Hippie, Die" episode of Southpark, word for word, but without the happy ending.

Some aid workers and Africans also worry that the Live 8 initiatives will only serve to bolster corrupt regimes while scepticism persists that rock stars can change anything.


No, really? Leads nicely into

Live 8 rocks world, but will it help poor?

"For God's sake, take this seriously. Don't behave normally. Don't look for compromises. Be great," Live 8 organisers said in a joint statement after the concerts ended.


Yeah, alright!!! Be great!!! What a load of fatuous bollocks!

More than 26 million people worldwide sent text messages in support of Live 8, setting a world record for a single event, organisers said. They had also expected up to two billion people to tune into the show worldwide.


So all those starving kids in Ethiopia are now feasting mightily on text messages, planting them for next years harvest, using them to drill for water. Or something.

Two BILLION people??? Are you seriously fucking kidding?

In Philadelphia, where hundreds of thousands crammed the streets to hear Will Smith and Stevie Wonder, singer Alicia Keys questioned America's interest in helping Africa.

"America has a sense of disconnect when it comes to Africa or places that are very far away because many of us, most of us, won't get the opportunity to see those places," she said.

Limited television coverage in the United States could also dampen the impact of such an impressive show of people power.


How much trite dribble can a "star" come up with? It's far away and we are disconnected because we don't go there. All those Americans who donate to charities, pay taxes that go to aid and tsunami relief before the UN gets its finger out of its arse are all disconnected and selfish because... they aren't quite as interested in a huge group jerk-off?

Show of people power? You AREN'T DOING ANYTHING! You are going to a concert! That isn't people power! How many tanks do you have to dodge on the way there?

The raucous crowd fell silent when Live 8 organiser Bob Geldof replayed Live Aid footage of dying Ethiopians. After freezing on the image of a girl on the verge of death, the same person, a now healthy Birhan Woldu, was introduced on stage.


So Bob found one survivor of his last effort. Meanwhile, dictators still alive and well. Where are the hippies calling for the overthrow of the rotten "governments", propert rights, rule of law, etc etc?

But Live 8 has sparked debate over whether making money available to African governments encourages corruption.

"Throwing money at African governments is not the answer," the brother of South African President Thabo Mbeki wrote.

"Give the money to the people for productive investment," Moeletsi Mbeki said in the Mail on Sunday. "Africans are perfectly capable of improving their own lot."


You mean you can do it for yourselves if people stop financing the overlords?

You poor deluded fools! Only we, the wise, wealthy and somewhat guilt-ridden sages of the West can save you. Don't presume to know what is best for yourself. We'll send Chris Martin over and he'll sort you out, once he has killed off the capitalists and share holders he'll make you a smashing fine king.

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