The Daily Bork

June 23, 2005

Don't you know who I AM?

Cruise drops complaints against pranksters

Yeah, because maybe being squirted with water is, you know, hardly much to get worked up about???

"I'm here giving you an interview, answering your questions and you do something really nasty ... you're a jerk ... jerk ... you're a jerk," the actor told the prankster.

Cruise said it was "disgusting" that someone should act in such a way.

"I really work hard to make people feel good," he said as he towelled himself dry.

Oh you are all so mean!!! I'm so nice! How can you play a practical joke on a nice guy? I make people haappppyyyy.

Apart from the fact that the last point is exceedingly dubious in its veracity... so fucking what? Good god! Get a sense of humour for crying out loud.

In contrast:

When the same stunt was played on Sharon Osbourne last month there was a very different outcome.

The wife of veteran rocker Ozzy Osbourne turned the tables on the prankster when she hurled a bucket of water over him, the Daily Mirror newspaper reported.

So some middleage woman has more balls than whiny little Tom. Who'd have thought it? Mind you, having put up with Ozzy for so long, it's amazing she didn't just deck them.


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