The Daily Bork

May 19, 2005

I hate hippies!

Good fucking grief!

Coldplay irked by corporate pressures

NEW YORK: British rock band Coldplay played Manhattan yesterday to promote their highly anticipated new album and said they are uncomfortable that they sell so many albums they can move a major corporation's stock price.

EMI, the world's third-largest music company and owner of Coldplay's label Capitol, warned in February that profits would be lower because the band took longer than expected to finish their first studio album in three years.

But lead singer Chris Martin said in an interview, "I don't really care about EMI. I'm not really concerned about that.

"I think shareholders are the great evil of this modern world," Martin told Reuters before a concert at Manhattan's Beacon Theatre.

But however uncomfortable Martin is with what he called "the slavery that we are all under to shareholders," the reception to Coldplay's third studio album will be closely watched by EMI shareholders.

The band was formed in 1998 and hit big in the United States in 2002 with the release of A Rush of Blood to the Head.

Having sold 20 million albums worldwide to date, their June 7 album release and subsequent two-month tour of North America in August and September will play a large role in determining EMI's corporate profits.

Martin said the album was delayed because their first eight months of recording sessions produced songs that lacked the "spark" of such earlier hits as Yellow, Clocks and The Scientist.

Jesus! What a whiny little wanker!
If the talentless tosser is so abhorred by companies and shareholders then why the fuck is he signed to a major label??? What exactly is he promoting his music for? If he hates it so much, stick it on the internet and let people get it for free and cut out those evvvviiiilllll shareholders. But of course he won't do that, he is an archetypal leftist entertainer. "I hate capitalism, I hate shareholders, I hate money, but I love my jetset lifestyle!"

Hint to the wet little twat... grow the fuck up! Stop the faux socialism and admit you like making the cash, which also employs the people who do the production work for the drivel you turn out as well as paying a dividend to the people willing to take the risk of investing in the label so you can distribute the drivel far and wide. How many people do you think would listen to the masturbatory crap you churn out if there weren't a few punters willing to take a bet?

OK, rant off.


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