The Daily Bork

March 21, 2005

Man bites dog

Oxymoron #2 of the day:

Peace group declares war on police

One protester, Simon Oosterman, claimed to have been assaulted by a police officer while being held in a patrol car.
Mr Oosterman said he had been arrested on a charge of obstructing a footpath, and was put in a stranglehold while waiting to be taken away.
"He held my jugular with his fingers so tight it sounded like I had helium in my throat."

Clue hippy. Jugular = vein in neck carrying blood away from brain, all too effectively apparently.

He said he had been "passively resisting" his arrest when he was assaulted in the patrol car. A police officer slammed the driver's seat back into his knees, and claimed the protesters "were just like the Springbok tour people". "He was just mocking me. It was completely inappropriate."

And, like, then he made me cry by calling me a name.

Mr Oosterman - who caused a scene at the Auckland District Court a few weeks ago when he turned up naked for a court appearance - was due to appear in the court today in relation to Saturday's protest.
He was also scheduled for a status hearing today, the latest appearance on a charge of indecent exposure stemming from a naked bike ride against oil dependency.

Ahh, the picture emerges... exhibitionist desperate for attention.

An Auckland newspaper yesterday published a photograph of a police sergeant holding a 16-year-old youth in what appeared to be a stranglehold.
Mr Oosterman claims it was the same officer who assaulted him.

Well, there are after all only three policemen in the whole of NZ, so chances are good it was the same one.

Auckland police spokeswoman Noreen Hegarty last night described the incident as "an absolute nothing", and the police officer in the photograph was still on duty.

In other words... oh for Christ's sake just grow up hippy!


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